Wow, I haven’t posted anything for two months! The new book project turned out to be very huge and on a very tight deadline to be ready to launch at the Smart Marriages Conference in Orlando, Florida, on July 6th. It goes off to the printer tomorrow via my new publisher, Barringer Publishing. I signed the contract with them in Naples, Florida, on May 8 (see photo of Jeff Schlesinger and me). Jeff’s wife Molly Barrow is one of the experts in the book. You can see information about the book at www.allinonemarriageprep.com.
Jennifer, Frank, and Giuliana drove across to Naples the same day for a pre-Mother’s Day lunch and a visit to the children’s area of Barnes and Noble bookstore (see photo). I headed home to Cleveland the next day.Through the very long and stressful days it took to put the book together, I kept asking Craig for help. One day I heard from one of the experts that he had just realized from my website that Craig had passed and wanted to donate the services of his Internet Marketing business in Craig’s honor to set up the book website and help with some marketing for no charge. I cried tears of gratitude…. (This was someone who did not know Craig or I before this project began.)
I’m getting good at these long drives – I’m amazed. I would have said I couldn’t do it. But I can, and I’m headed back driving down to Orlando on July 5 and from there to Ft. Lauderdale for granddaughter Giuliana’s first birthday. There are three major events in a row with lots of emotions associated with them, and so I’m on somewhat of a roller coaster these days. The first was Leah’s wedding on June 12th. To have Craig’s daughter married without him physically there was hard…for all of us. Lots of joy and tears. But she was beautiful and so was the wedding. They had a Baha'i ceremony, a Christian ceremony with an interfaith minister, and a "jumping the broom" ceremony. Leah charged me with relaxing and having fun, and I did both all weekend. (See photo of Leah and Moe Izzard with Leah's sister Michelle to the left and photo of my granddaughter Karida as one of the flower girls - on the right)The second event coming up is the July 1 anniversary of Craig’s passing. He feels a bit more distant these days. I’m not sure whether that’s the right word or not, but often when I communicate with him, his responses aren’t as strong or clear. Some of the family will gather together on that day at the cemetery. It has helped me over last months to read a book called Hello From Heaven! about after-death communication. It’s amazing to me the variety of ways that those who have passed on do continue to communicate to loved ones for years and decades. This is comforting to me.
The third event is going to the marriage conference without him. We went together for a few years, and in 2007, Craig was so happy teaching hundreds of people who stopped by our booth the skill of honoring and acknowledging character qualities in a spouse. Three weeks later, he was in tumor-removal surgery. But I’m looking forward to the conference too – learning, reconnecting, and most of all selling the new book.
It took me 11 months to gradually give away Craig’s clothes to many people. I finally accomplished clearing his closet out. So, yesterday I reorganized all my clothes and moved some into it. There was a brief moment of sadness, but good to get the job done, too.
I’ve begun taking a Bahá’í training class about the Covenant – the measures taken throughout the history of the Bahá’í Faith to protect its unity and prevent division. It’s serious content but good to study with others. The goal is that I can then tutor sessions for others on the topic. I’m also participating in a Purpose-Driven Life group with an interfaith set of friends. The grief group I organized is also still meeting occasionally. So, I’m spending more time interacting comfortably with people again and not feeling quite so much need to hibernate.
I’ve been gluten-free now since mid-February and feeling much better and healthier as a result. I’ve lost 6 pounds in the last months, so feeling slim and trim too! Still swimming, although since returning from Florida I’ve not made it to yoga classes. I loved the ones on Venice beach! It was warm enough by the time I left to be able to swim in the ocean. I had a visit from a heron one day that seemed to stand vigil by me (see photo). Far fewer sightings of solo birds this trip. Saw lots of bunny rabbits though – symbols of moving ahead by leaps and bounds.This is a very non-linear posting! Life feels like it’s backward, forward, and sideways all at once. But, mostly forward.
Love,
Susanne
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