Sorting Through Things, October 14, 2009

I’m targeting putting our home on the market in February. That, plus a general need to downsize and organize, has me beginning the process of sorting through and identifying things to go elsewhere. Some things will go to family or friends, some sold, some given or thrown away. But the process, of course, triggers emotions.

I visited my mother-in-law in Pennsylvania this week. It was our first seeing one another since Craig’s funeral. She is also sorting through her home and getting ready to move into an independent living facility. So, we are both somewhat living in the befuddlement of “What do I do with this stuff?!”

My philosophy is that when befuddled, write poetry, so here it is:

Stay or Now Go?

I rock in your chair, and lay in our bed
I sleep with your shirt on, your jacket nearby
I wander the rooms, touching the dreams
Of a beautiful life we once led

I hold in my hands the things you once touched
And ask do they stay or now go?
I hold in my hands the intimate wear
And ask do they stay or now go?
I hold in my hands the books you once read
And ask do they stay or now go?

Some things are easy, a moment of thought
Some things are hard, and wake me at night
Some things are…just things
Some have layers of memory
Some mean more to others, and less to me
Are these things you? Are they me?
Perhaps yes and yet no
And I ask do they stay or now go?

When you live in my heart in permanent estate
Do the things even matter? Do they stay or now go?
Does some of you linger on all of these things
How much do I hold, do I care?
Some day they’ll be dust, irrelevant, gone
It’s your life that must matter, not things

And yet, there is comfort, though bittersweet tears
When I touch what you touched, and wear what you wore
They do bring you close, help me feel you nearby
So, I’ll choose at least some of the things to now keep

~ Susanne Mariella Alexander, October 14, 2009

This, too, shall pass…

Love,
Susanne